Attachment Therapy & Related Concerns
Attachment is a psychological term describing the nature of the emotional relationship shared initially between a child and their primary caregiver(s) and later within important adult relationships.
In childhood, healthy or secure attachments are characteristic of children whose physical and emotional needs are adequately met by their primary caregivers. As a result, they tend to develop a general sense of safety, security, and feel loved. Through these early interactions, children learn that the world is a relatively safe and predictable place and that they can rely on people who care about them for support and reassurance during times of stress (Cassidy & Shaver, 2008).
Psychologists have discovered that attachment also provides a context for regulating emotion. In healthy relationships, we learn that emotional distress (e.g. fears or feelings of sadness) can be shared with people who care about us. Through eye contact, familiar tone of voice, and comforting touch, we feel less alone, supported, and validated. In short, our emotions become co-regulated with the help of other people.
Insecure Attachment Styles
If our experiences during childhood involved interactions where we may have experienced emotional neglect or abuse, or if our parents just did not know how to respond to our emotional needs in an empathic and attuned way, we may develop characteristics of an insecure attachment. In these situations, children will most commonly adapt in one of two different ways. First, by either suppressing or minimizing their emotional needs, which leads to an avoidant-dismissive attachment style. Or else, they will be hypervigilant and anxiously concerned about the stability of meaningful relationships, leading to an anxious-preoccupied attachment style.
While these alternative ways of coping may have been adaptive during childhood, they can continue to operate outside of our awareness, become overgeneralized, and cause significant problems in our present relationships. Thankfully, even some of the most entrenched emotional patterns can be overcome with hard work and perhaps help from attachment therapy.
Psychologist, Brad Peters, talks about attachment in an older video. He outlines the key parts through a developmental story.
Notice the important role of emotion regulation (how we learn to tolerate our feelings without being overwhelmed). In addition, the development of implicit patterns and intuitions (internal working models) about how we might relate to significant others.
Attachment Informed Therapy
Brad has over 15 years experience working with a multitude of attachment-related issues. Such concerns may include: difficulties regulating emotions, self-sabotaging relationship patterns, trouble with vulnerability and trust, relational insecurity, and so on.
Although Brad has plenty of experience working with children, he currently provides therapy for those who are 12 and up, including adults, couples, and families. Brad has experience and training from a number of attachment-informed theories and therapies. In his current work, he will tend to integrate different aspects of Short-Term Dynamic, Emotion-Focused, and Attachment-Based Therapies. He has also been greatly influenced by Pete Walker's concept of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (Cptsd), described in more detail on the page dedicated to Therapy for Trauma.
Lectures on Attachment (2019)
References
Cassidy, J. & Shaver, P. (2008). Handbook of Attachment, 2nd ed. New York: Guilford Press.
Recommended Reading
Parenting from the Inside Out: How a deeper self-understanding can help you raise children who thrive (D. Siegel & M. Hartzell)
This book is great for both parents and adults without children. The authors draw from both attachment theory and neuroscience to describe how these early relationships help shape who we are today. The reader will likely gain a greater insight, understanding, and appreciation for the emotional reflexes they may have learned during their own childhood. Through careful self-reflection and making peace with the past, one can avoid having to repeat maladaptive patterns of family interaction with one's own children. A highly recommended book.