Anger is an emotion that’s experienced universally, and can vary in degree of intensity from frustration to rage. Definitions of anger differ slightly between sources; “a strong feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism” (Merriam-Webster), or “a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility” (English Oxford Living Dictionaries). While anger is a normal part of the human experience, for some people it can become problematic. The most obvious problem is anger that leads to aggressive or violent behavior.  Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help reduce the likelihood of aggressive or violent behavior as a result of anger (Henwood, Chou & Browne, 2015).  Self-directed CBT resources are widely available in the form of on-line resources, books, and workbooks. CBT interventions can… read more →

It’s that time of year again, when themes of death, evil and horror briefly seep into mainstream culture to play upon our excited imaginations. Yes, Halloween is upon us. Ghosts and zombies are everywhere as people are out buying costumes and decorating their homes and workplaces in preparation for the annual haunting event. The fact that many people love to scare others and be scared is not new. For ages, people have been trying to find ways to frighten others by jumping out from behind doors, using surprise stunts and gimmicks, wearing creepy make-up, and writing haunting messages on mirrors in order to stir up fright. The popularity of horror movies, video games, books and television shows is a testament… read more →

This is a two-part video series on suicide. The first video outlines some of the common misconceptions or areas of confusion, such as the conception of suicide as an event caused by a biologized depression, as opposed to a deeply personal act. I then suggest two very general (though noninclusive) pathways to suicidal contemplation: as an escape from some intractable emotional or psychological pain/suffering, and/or, as a response to a perceived lack of meaning in one’s life. The second video explores how the above understanding might guide intervention and/or prevention, including taking a hard look at the role played by attitudes and assumptions within our cultures and communities. I give some of my own opinions on what might be wrong… read more →

We’ve all heard people say it. We might have thought it ourselves. But what do we really mean when we believe that “everything happens for a reason”? Is it a harmless form of wishful thinking that provides comfort and reassurance when times are tough? Or, is there something potentially problematic in endorsing this sentiment? When we say “everything happens for a reason,” we often do so when trying to make sense of personal hardship and suffering. Yet when we use the phrase, we usually don’t claim to know the reason. Whatever the cause, it was not the result of our own deliberate intention; nor are we appealing to the reasons of another. For example, when someone reflectively thinks “everything happens… read more →

Imagine this: after months and months of hard work, you have been accepted into the incredibly competitive graduate program you’ve applied to. Or, after countless applications and draining interviews, you’ve landed your absolute dream job with a prominent and influential company. You’re thrilled – what a relief! You can’t wait to get started. All’s well that ends well, right? But before long, a troubling suspicion starts to enter your mind: “I don’t really deserve this”. Or, “There has to have been a mistake – this is just a fluke”. You start to feel less relief, and instead more anxiety. And when you actually start your new position, you are convinced that you don’t belong there, and that everyone around you… read more →

As 2015 is quickly coming to a close, many of us are likely thinking of how we want to start the New Year. After the excess and indulgence that so often accompany the holiday spirit, it can feel especially important to make changes. Many of us, however, can identify with the feeling of failure when our resolutions don’t come to fruition – nothing is more discouraging than having to make the same resolutions year after year. If this resonates with you, you’re not alone; 50-60% of Canadians make New Year’s resolutions, and yet very few actually stick to them for any appreciable length of time. One survey showed that 19% kept them for less than 24 hours, and 52% for… read more →

While the holidays can evoke thoughts of happiness and joy, sharing and caring, the preparation can also bring negative emotions, such as frustration, worry, and even fear at the never ending list of things to do. Some of the basic tenets of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) may help in escaping the overwhelming crush of what has become the norm for many of us during the holidays. ACT is a behavioral therapy that focuses on taking action that is guided by our values, or the things that are really important to us. It encourages acceptance of what is out of our personal control, and taking action “mindfully”, or in an open, fully engaged state. These basic principles can be applied… read more →

Making the decision to work on your relationship through couple’s therapy can be difficult, and for most people, there are a lot of questions about what to expect. This article will attempt to demystify the process, and address three of the most common concerns that couples have coming into therapy. 1. It’s about figuring out who’s right or wrong. It probably goes without saying that most couples coming into therapy are not getting along; this can take the form of frequent arguments, sometimes about the big things (e.g., how to discipline your children), and sometimes about the seemingly inconsequential things (e.g., how to properly load the dishwasher). Or, for some couples there isn’t much fighting, but there isn’t much talking… read more →

Over the last year, I’ve had many couples mention that they’ve read The Five Love Languages (Chapman, G; 2015). This prompted me to read it myself, so that I may form my own opinion about whether this book could be helpful to couples who are struggling, or those who want to improve on an already positive relationship. The books author, a relationship counselor, has an educational background that includes anthropology, religious education, and philosophy. The purpose of the book is to help people show love to their spouses in ways that it will be received. It’s based on the premise that, just as there are different verbal languages throughout the world, there are also different ‘love languages’, and if we’re… read more →

As the weather is finally starting to feel like Spring, Haligonians are slowly but surely emerging from hibernation. After the rough winter we’ve endured, it seems as though many of us are still feeling its effects, both physically and mentally. In light of Mental Health Week, it is important to remind ourselves of the psychological benefits of taking advantage of the beautiful weather, getting outside, and getting active. Winter can take a toll on us for several reasons; arguably, the biggest one being that people tend to stay indoors, which usually means more screen-time and less exercise. The physical benefits of exercise are well-documented, and over the past number of years there has been more and more evidence pointing to… read more →